This dulls the experience of sex more than enriches it, since you want to know all sides of sex - the real and unreal, the good and bad, the quick and hard, the slow and gentle, the fast and furious, the sweet and caring.
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Many gay men who struggle with feelings of shame or insecurity use drugs to make sex happen, and may reach a point where they only know how to play when they’re drunk/high. This isn't true - and it doesn't have to be that way.Īll drugs - including alcohol - are not healthy and do not do good things to the body. There is a better world outside the closet, and you should be part of it.Ī lot of people consider drugs as inextricably tied with gay sex. We’re the ones who organized against a plague. If you’re HIV-negative, you’ll need to get on PrEP and take necessary steps to protect yourself. If you get HIV, you’re going to take your meds and live a long, happy life. I want to reach back through the years, hug him, and say, “Baby, you’re not going to die.” When I read it now, I cheer for that younger, scared me. The poetry is bad and cringingly written in all caps, but it’s one relic of my early writing I treasure.Īt the end of the poem, I come to the conclusion that coming out is worth it, even in the face of death - that it’s better to live a short, authentic life than to live in fear.
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I even wrote a 10+ page poem called “Heavy Is Venus” (H - I - V) in high school when I was 14 or 15, still deeply in the closet, in which I went through my feelings on this. In high school, I listened to musicals like Rent and believed wholeheartedly that if I chose to live life as an out gay man, I was sentencing myself to a slow death from AIDS.
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Welcome to the party - but don't be unprepared. This invisibility and isolation makes stumbling into a gay bar (or discovering a hookup app) akin to opening a treasure trove and finding that it’s yours, all yours. Where are cartoons with two little boy dogs sharing a spaghetti noodle, falling in love? Not on children’s TV. When we see those same cartoons, we understand a jarring truth: We are out of sync with the world. Every message they’ve been taught through childhood - when the cartoon boy dog meets the cartoon girl dog and the girl dog bats a pair of absurd eyelashes - cues them to have sex. As soon as puberty hits, bam! They’re fucking. Your straight peers may start early - in high school or earlier. They have no idea how to prepare you for the eros embraced by many members of our community or the risks that come with it.
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The amount of sex some gay men have (and the ease with which it can be acquired) is preposterous to most straight folks - including your friends and family.
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For now, we rounded up 35 of our favorite LGBTQ movies, from a sapphic historical romance to a cheesy early-aughts coming out rom-com and everything in between.You might not realize it now, but you’re growing into a culture that celebrates sex. With more queer-identifying filmmakers, actors, producers, and directors than ever before given the opportunity to share their stories, we can only expect more fantastic LGBTQ+ films in the future. While we’re a long way from total inclusivity and gay movies sans stereotypes, the film industry has made recent strides in centering LGBTQ+ characters. For marginalized groups, truthful representation in film is imperative, even lifesaving, and in today’s stormy political climate there’s an urgency for straight cisgender people to see LGBTQ characters portrayed accurately and unapologetically - and by people who actually know what LGBTQ life is like because they live it. Still, from Sacha Baron Cohen’s fashion-obsessed Brüno to a Scream Queens character nicknamed Predatory Lez, we unfortunately continue to see it all. LGBTQ people have long been buried under tropes and unsubtle stereotypes in film and television. LGBTQ movies are a rarity, even more so than accurately portrayed queer characters in film nowadays.